Negative thinking destroyes relationships

Negative Thinking Destroys Relationships
http://www.keeppunching.com/independents/St_Landry/daigle_stlan_NegativeThinking.htm
by
Kerry Daigle


I was recently involved in a conversation with someone that I have been working with for three years on a business plan. We were having tremendous success and moving forward towards our goals. Things, in my perspective, and all of my mentors and peers opinions, seemed like our goals were not only being reached but that the future was bright. Along the path, however, one party within this team had a tendency to think in a negative fashion constantly always looking for ‘what was not working’ vs. looking ‘for what was working’. You’ve heard the story before about the glass either being ‘half-full’ or ‘half-empty’. This particular individual always saw the glass as half empty. I continued to work with the team regardless of this individual’s thinking process until I came to a conclusion that our success was getting ready to start rolling downhill until this person changed their way of thinking. It wasn’t going to happen. Their negative thinking had been a part of their lives and it seemed impossible to get them to think differently by trusting and loving more vs hindering progress by listening to ‘negative unsuccessful’ people who would continually bring them down. Sadly, this is where this individual, who was part of the team, wanted to continue to remain.

This is when you have to learn to cut your losses and move forward by breaking away from the negative thinking people or situations you may be in. Successful people with integrity and character are not usually going to get that reputation by hanging around the negative influences. This is in business or your personal life.

For some reason, many people find it easier to think in a negative way than in a positive manner. That is easy to understand. It takes a lot of effort on an individual’s part to think positive thoughts, whereas it is so much easier to think negative ones as they usually come uninvited by another negative thinking person. This has everything to do with the kinds of books a person reads and the environment one has been living in or people they associate themselves with on a daily basis.

So, how do you use positive thinking for your benefit? First of all, you have to understand the power behind negative thoughts.

If you have been brought up in a happy and positive environment where others value self improvement, then it is easier for you to understand the power of positive thinking. If you have been brought up in a negative environment and chose to stay with those who think negative thoughts you will find yourself expecting self-doubt and failure. Expect to destroy relationships and insure that you will not have any financial success. Sad, but true. Very seldom does this work in any other way. You see, if you are constantly around negative thoughts, your lives and the circumstances in your life will mirror your thoughts.

As Maw Maw Daigle always told me, “Hang around a shoplifter long enough you will learn how to shoplift….however, hang around successful, positive thinking individuals and your thoughts will become similar.” Powerful words from someone who couldn’t read or write. Of course, you aren’t taught these things in school. You won’t find this in your history or English books.

Notice the negative thinkers. They believe they are going to fail and will unconsciously sabotage every opportunity placed before them for success in their lives. If the negative thinker is afraid of meeting new people or having a close relationship trying to create trust among themselves they will generally avoid people and relationships. The next thing you hear from them is that they are lonely and nobody cares for them or possibly they are always a victim. Try to work with these people by giving them the right books to read and CD’s to listen to. If you aren’t having any success with their thinking process, there comes a time you need to move on. These people can be business partners, working relationships, or personal relationships. Do you have to get them out of your life completely? All personalities aren’t the same but my experience has shown that these type of people will draw the last blood out of your positive thinking systems. Consider the damage that they cause. Then make a decision to better yourself by avoiding these people if they aren’t willing to work on themselves.

Do you think of failure instead of success? Problems instead of solutions? Gratitude instead of complaining? Failures instead of the good things that happened along the way? Do you read the negative news in the newspapers or read the positive articles? Watch the negative news on television? Are you one that thinks you don’t deserve happiness or success or think it isn’t in your bloodline for that to happen because no one else in your family had success? Closing your mind to positive thoughts will rule your life in a negative way. Remember, “the mind is like a parachute…if it isn’t open it isn’t going to work.”

Negative thinking is standard for those who usually hear, see, and read negative information by accepting this as the standard way of thinking or living.

Someone once told me at one of my speaking engagements that I was brainwashing people in thinking positive all the time. Needless to say, I agreed with that statement. I do brainwash everyone I can to think in a positive fashion. People are going to be brainwashed into either negative thinking or positive thinking. I prefer the positive thinking. Others choose to be brainwashed into the negative thinking phase. What is so powerful is that anyone can choose to be brainwashed into either category. Now, those are facts and choices.

The mind is a powerful tool. You can visually train yourself to think about failure or switch your thoughts to visualizing success. If you hear yourself repeating negative words, train yourself to immediately switch to positive ones. Instead of saying, “I can’t”………., say to yourself, “I can”. Get rid of all the negative thinking. Change everything to positive and you will surprised what your ‘subconcious’ mind will do for you.

Decide to do those things today and then start practicing this procedure daily for the rest of your life. You may have lost some important relationships earlier in your life due to poor thoughts instead of gratifying ones. Be grateful every day. Be thankful. Look for the good in people and not the bad. I promise your life will turn into a fascinating, cheerful, and entertaining journey.